Emotional Rollercoaster
Submitted by
Jay on Sat, 01/12/2008 at 10:06am.
This blog will probably end up being pretty long, but I'll try to keep it interesting, since yesterday for us was one of our biggest emotional drains we've had in a long time.
Kai was scheduled for his first doc's appointment yesterday at 1pm at Palo Alto Medical, which is about 45 minute drive for us, and is just a few blocks from Lucille Packard where Lynh gave birth. Since Lynh still isn't quite 100% and can't carry the baby carrier too well, we went as a family.
Just before we got there, Mailynn started complaining "my eye is wiggling". For those of you who don't know, I've had issues with a left-eye muscle twitch for months now, and I have to constantly make sure I'm getting enough rest or else it comes back and lasts for a day or more. So, I told her to close her eyes and rest and it'll go away, so she quickly closed her eyes and laid her head back in her carseat. Just before we pulled into the clinic, Mailynn fell asleep, so we decided I'd just drop off Lynh and baby with no carrier, and I'd drive around with Mailynn so she could get some sleep, and I'd pickup some food.
After doubling back once to the clinic since Lynh forgot Kai's papers, I went to Jack-n-the-box to pickup some food. On my way there (for the 2nd time), I get ANOTHER call from Lynh, so I pull over to the side of the road. Lynh informs me that her Grandma (who has been at the Stanford hospital for a few days, they think maybe bleeding in the brain, but has been alert and doing ok otherwise), has slipped into a coma'ish state during the night after having a seizure, and that she may pass, so any family should come see her that would like to.
After a few phone calls to Lynh's relatives, we find out that she can't be seen at the moment because she is being operated on, so we decide to continue with baby's appointment and me getting food, until we hear more. After picking up food, eating, and waiting in the car with Mailynn while she sleeps, she wakes up an hour later, and we go into the clinic to meet up with Lynh.
Lynh informs me that Kai's temperature has been low, and they've been trying to warm him up with blankets to see if its just environmental or systemic. If he doesn't warm up, then they're worried it might be a blood stream infection of some kind, or possibily meningitis, which in babies is a very big deal, swelling of the brain, fluids in the brain, something like that. He was also born with a slightly low temperature, and to us has been lethargic compared to Mailynn, but otherwise he eats great and poops great, so we assumed everything was ok.
After about 1.5 hours of closely watching his temperature and trying to warm him up, they decide they want to do some blood tests, which will take a couple more hours (its now 3:30). I decide to take Mailynn and go over to Erik's (my Chess.com partner and friend from BYU) who lives close by while Kai gets his blood tests. The doc says they want to see his "CRP" levels to make sure they are below 1.
After hanging out at Erik's for 2 hours, and not hearing from Lynh yet, I get a bit worried, and call Lynh, but her cell is dead. I shoulda heard from her by now, so I decide I"d better go back to the clinic and see whats up. When I arrive I find Lynh still in the same doc's office that she's been in since 1, in the same uncomfortable metal chairs, still holding Kai, still waiting for the blood results. She says the first ones came back, were inconclusive, so they ordered a 2nd one, which had to be sent over to the hospital for analysis, so those would take 2 hours, so now we're looking at 6 (its now 5pm).
An hour later, the doc comes in, "shoot, its not good." She goes on to explain that his CRP is 4.7, WAY above the normal .5 they were hoping for. She says there is definitely something wrong and he needs to be admitted right away, and probably a minimum of 5 days at the hospital, so we'll probably need to get a room there with a bed. Kai will be hooked up to IVs, they'll take some fluids out of his lower spine and do more blood work, and start treating him right away.
After the doc leaves to go make some phone calls to arrange our arrival at the hospital, Lynh can't believe what she's just been told. A kind of "why is this happening to me?" helpless feeling, coupled with being in that shoebox of a room for 6 hours, exhausted and not fully recovered from labor/delivery and not enough sleep at nights with the baby, and her Grandma possibly passing away at any moment, Lynh is on the breaking point. I try let her know everything is going to be fine, Lucille Packard is one of the best Children's hospitals in the world, if not the best.
10-15 painful minutes go by while we wait for the doc to come back to tell us we can go now and where to take him. What's taking her so long? We just want to get Kai over there as soon as possible so they can start working on him. All the while Kai is pretty much asleep, opening his eyes a little from time to time, but very drousy. Now all we can imagine is this huge war his body is raging inside to try and fight off whatever sickness he has. Is his brain swelling as we speak? Is his body temperature still dropping? Does he have some bloodstream infection? We're all hoping for the best and gearing up for the long 5 hard days at the hospital.
Mailynn, who has been great through all of this and has just been dancing around the little room, reading books, looking at pictures, sees mommy crying and gets a sad face and climbs up on to mom's lap. "Whats wrong mommy? Are you sad? Is baby brother sick?"
We try to explain that he's going to be ok, but that he's a little sick. She says, "Is baby brother gonna wake up?"
After trying to hold it together as a family, the doctor finally comes back in and says, "well, i have some good news". I'm thinking...we got a room at the hospital so we can at least stay there at night. I say jokingly optimistically, "did you guys analyze the wrong blood?" She says, "no no, but let me explain. Your son is fine and you guys can go home." "What???!" At this point Lynh can't hold it together and tears are flowing as the doc breaks the good news and we can't believe what we're hearing. "Let me show you in the computer" she says. She pulls up the report and says, "see here it says:
4.7 mg/L
"That's the CRP number we were talking about being too high, HOWEVER.....normally they give it to us in mg/mL, not mg/L, so actually his level is POINT FOUR SEVEN, meaning .47 mg/mL, so its under 1 like we want, he's totally healthy and fine, and you guys can go home."
3 kleenex's later, Lynh is emotionally drained and I'm exhausted and Mailynn doesn't know if we're crying happy or crying sad or what. The doc apologizes and feels awful about it all, and says to just watch his temperature, keep him warm, and to just call if anything happens.
So, 20 minutes later we are on the freeway going home instead of on our way to the hospital, and what a relief it was. Mailynn fell asleep on the way home and we picked up some japanese food, devoured it when we got home and went to bed. We can only hope now that the story turns out as well for Lynh's grandma.
What a day....
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